You said you do not believe the sincerity of my love. But you were the one who professed first. You were the one who told me things about marriage. You were the one who told me that you’ve already found what you’ve been looking for? You told me that you would marry me! You are an absolute jerk. You doubt the sincerity of my love? I chose you from the very beginning. I grew up dreaming of a love like Mr. Darcy’s and Elizabeth’s. I wasn’t that much affectionate because I was shy. And I don’t warm up to people that easily. I only had two relationships all my life. I don’t give my heart that easily and yet you insult me by saying I should put myself out there? What? To go through another heartbreak again? There are nights I have to cry myself to sleep and have to invite my friends over because the emptiness of my house was too much to bear. Is it really that easy for you? While I am breaking you’re already putting yourself out there? The least you could do is to say sorry even if it was half-meant. You broke my heart.
Or did you just play me into falling in love with you? Or is it because I am not entertaining enough? Or was I just an ego boost? I showed you my naked self in hopes that you would stay. I lost myself in you. I was trying…
I will move on from this heartbreak. But I want you to not move on from the guilt of breaking someone’s heart or have you no such feelings? But I still care for you.
I have died every single day since you said goodbye. I never knew I could feel such sadness. I bought books to divert my attention. I show up for myself even if my heart’s breaking to million pieces.
VenusAtFar 